btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
