weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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