So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
