Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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