the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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