i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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