So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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