best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
