I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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