just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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