dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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