Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!

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(703): View more from Virginia

the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex

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(254): View more from Texas

Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced

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(201): View more from New Jersey

your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night

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(651): View more from Minnesota

He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?

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(347): View more from New York

May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.

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(305): View more from Florida

Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum

(1-305): View more from Florida

I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades

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