do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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