I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
