dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
All the doctor said was why
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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