also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize