@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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