Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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