He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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