I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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