Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
