So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
