Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
