Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It's shark week go big or go home
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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