I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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