Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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