There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
