have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
