Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
