After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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