cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
