Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
