Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
