i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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