You don't have asthma, your pregnant
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
