therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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