Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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