About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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