I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
