I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
