are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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