yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
