You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
not ubering you a puppy
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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