it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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