I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
