you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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