listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize