does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
