I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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