Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
