I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
