We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Randomize