Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Enjoy the penises
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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