yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
