Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
