I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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