Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
