Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
