Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
