it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
