i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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